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ALL THINGS GROSS – Bodily Functions in Fantasy


In everyday life people do the grossest things. We pick our noses, scratch ourselves in private places in public, we make horrible smells and offensive noises, we stick our fingers in our ears and then wipe our findings on our jeans, we scrape goop from eyes and squeeze puss from our faces and our bowels hold us to ransom. Have I grossed you out enough yet?

My point is, being human can be disgusting, so why shouldn't your characters have the same traits? Ah, maybe because it's gross... Yes, but it's also realistic. That's not to say all of your characters need to start finding treasures in their noses and producing obnoxious gases. You have to consider a character's personality, social standings and the situation they're in.

For example, in my Healer Trilogy, I have a character, Princess Adalin, who wouldn't dream of farting in front of the mirror let alone in company. But her nomadic companion, Carius, takes pride in his bodily functions.

Farting can be great for breaking the tension between feuding friends. A scratch of the privates can show a character's lack of social etiquette. Grabbing of privates can be an insult, as can spitting (ew, spitting). Chewing on dirty fingernails can be a nervous tick. Chewing on dirty toenails a disgusting thing to do in front of others, but necessary if they're really, really long. An unwanted burp is a great way to embarrass a character in front of their love interest. A gluggy, wet sneeze sprayed in the face of someone important makes for an awkward situation. Sweat glistening off a naked body can be sexy. Big, dirty sweat patches under the arm unsightly. The list goes on.

Being gross can be a handy tool, but choose your moments wisely. Intense romantic, fight or conflict scenes can lose their punch if one has to stop and pick their bloomers from their slot. You don't want to destroy the tension when the world is about to fall apart by farting. Funny yes. Suspenseful no.

That said, I encourage you to be gross, be disgusting and let it all hang out. And remember not even your hero can smell like roses all of the time.
 
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