ADULT CONTENT – Writing a Sex Scene Part 3

So we've decided whose having sex, we've set the mood and chosen a location. All that's left is the nitty gritty, blow by blow details of what goes on under the sheets. I should give a language warning: everything from this point on will be written in English. In other words, let no word be taboo. As writers, we have a responsibility to be honest, cheeky, bold, daring, challenging, and so much more. So when it comes to writing about sex, don't be afraid to go places we know exist.

Description: How Far Do You Go?

How in depth should your sexual description be? Do you give a blow by blow encounter? Do you use words such as breasts, penis, vagina, cocks, hard on, nipples, tongues? Are orgasms allowed? Should they be metaphoric?

To answer these questions, you have to first ask yourself: what audience am I writing for? Traditional fantasy tends to be less graphic, with short sex scenes. That's not to say you can't be creative, just keep it simple and clean. In adult fantasy, don't be afraid to use words such as penis and orgasm and breasts, but maybe use them sparingly. If you're looking to push some boundaries and lean towards the erotic, you descriptions can be more graphic.

The approach I take depends on the characters' investment with one another. The more connected they are (or become throughout the story) the more sensual the sex scene. For encounters that are less emotion, you may want to be rough, or jarring. Think about your characters. Think about how comfortable they are with sex and use their emotions to dictate how graphic your descriptions are. If they're uncomfortable using sexual language, then don't use it. And vice-versa. There are no set rules, so have fun with it.

Masturbation and other sexual taboos.

The last point I want to make relates to all the other sexual taboos we tend to avoid, for whatever reason. There are some that are touchy subjects; paedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia to name a few. If you feel there's a need for a taboo in your story, then I say use it. DO NOT use a taboo for the purpose of sensationalising your book. Like anything in writing, if you can't justify having it in the story, take it out.

In conclusion, by acknowledging unfettered sexual needs and desires within your character you make them far more realistic. People think about sex, there's no pretending otherwise. Where you take those sexual desires is up to you.